” at night we fall in love again
by morning we are barely friends.
you make your way through cluttered words
unfolding my broken ramblings
and patched up insecurities
sometimes i hope you hate me
and other times i hope you save me. ”
Strange how this appeared as soon as we talked . Of course first love never fades . But why , why have you been appearing so often lately ? You lectured me half yelling because you were worried . You spoke to me like you used to . You texted me for advice . I know that we both have other people right now . But we both know we’re fooling everyone except for ourselves . Will we really go on hiding our true feelings like this forever ? Only appearing when the other is in dire need of being rescued ? I never wanted someone so much and you know it . No matter what you’ll always be lingering in my thoughts , walking through my heart . It’s all my fault . I’m sorry . I’m sorry . I’m sorry . I love you . I love you . I love you .
There comes a point in time where you will be forced to accept the fact that you cannot have everything you want . The thing you want most will always be out of reach , otherwise you would not yearn for it so .
It is 3:45AM and I am lying here being eaten by my insomnia .
Yes , I could take my…
Day 22: how you judge intelligence :
observing the subjects physical movements / word choices during a conversation .
Update : going to start writing in here again .
There’s a storm outside .
It’s thundering .
And Lightening .
It’s destructive ,
yet calming .
How does that work ?
Day 21: everything you wish for in a significant other
- smells nice
- talks a lot but isn’t annoying
- treat me like a princess ( ahahahehehehohoho )
- doesn’t yell at me much
- makes me smile more than cry
Day 20: what you think makes someone beautiful
Of course , Outer beauty is important . You have to at least be able to take care of your appearance … You shouldn’t go around looking like you just woke up all of the time . But personality is also very important . Someone who is ignorant cannot be beautiful . To be beautiful you have to be accepting . That’s the key .
Day 19: your thoughts on your family
Family has never been important to me . I’m pretty much my own family . It’s just me . My dad is alright I suppose . The people I live with are the only people I really consider family . But the people who share my blood , I’d be okay if they all disappeared .
haha , i’m fine !
but thanks .
Today would have been our 1 year anniversary .
So I thought about you a lot .
It probably didn’t cross your mind …
but that’s fine .